The stressed out teen - tips for destressing your high school student

By Rebecca Pall



Photo courtesy of NBC



Chances are, if one were to ask a high schooler how they were feeling, the number one answer would be that dreaded, eight letter word: stressed.  With stress comes anxiety and nervousness as well.  In today’s day and age, school and social issues aren't the only things that can add to the stress load of students.  

 

One of the things that can lead to stress for high school teenagers is, on the non-academic side, social standing.  At the age of 14-19, children feel that they have to be superior by fitting into a crowd.  If they don’t do what a certain group of people are doing, then they could be seen as unfit, or unqualified to be with a certain group of people.  

According to a study conducted by Johns Hopkins University, one of the biggest social stressors is trying to perform or behave beyond their ability.  This could be in terms of social or academic standing.  If a student is trying to fit into a group of new peers, they may do things that they would not normally feel comfortable doing, just so that they can fit in.  The more that a student thinks that they’re not good enough, the more they could feel like they have to try and be someone different or to do something uncomfortable.  

In an academic setting, students may feel like they have to perform at the top of their classes.  The College Board did a study that concluded that between the years of 2003 and 2013, there was a 7.9 increase of students taking honors and AP classes.  Nowadays, students think that they have to perform at a certain level of excellence, especially in these types of classes, just to be normal. 

Whether that’s getting up and doing oral reports if a student is shy or striving to perform the best in a certain class, the student today has a lot on their plate, socially and academically.

Photo courtesy of Adventure Family in Motion

A student completed a study of the students and faculty in Saddle River Day School in Saddle River, New Jersey.  A Google Form was sent out to about 175 students and 50 teachers, asking them what was their biggest stress in high school.  I got responses from 60 students and nine members of the faculty.

Student stresses were listed as:

• Homework
• Tests
• Time management
• College Applications
• Getting the grades needed to apply to a good college
• Expectations
• Studying

This was surprising, since the social aspects of stress were not stated, and the main focus was the stress of academics, even though social stress is still prevalent.

As far as faculty goes, there was a smaller range of answers.  The most popular answers were:

• Time management
• Fitting in
• “Getting a date”
• Being accepted
• Getting into college

The question was then asked whether or not the faculty members felt that the stress that they feel now was the same as the stress they had felt when they were in high school.  An overwhelming “YES!” was collected.  

One of the reasons given was, “I think students now have these same issues as we did; however, I think they have more distractions today than when I was in high school. Computers and devices were not as common and we did not have to deal with those as a way to distract us from our learning. I also think that more research and time has been invested in teaching students how to study and giving them the scaffolding/tools to help them learn their best.  I think that is different then when I was in high school.”  

 

De-stressing

 

Despite the stresses they suffer, many students don’t realize the benefits of destressing.  One of the leading ways for anyone to destress is to put down technology.  This can be doubly so for students.  According to a Pew study conducted in 2015, nearly 75% of high school students in the United States have access to a smartphone. 24% were found to go online “almost constantly” and another 56% are online several times a day.  With the technology of smartphones comes the technology of social media.  While social media is a great way to stay in the loop of what their peers are doing, it also poses as a way for teenagers to feel excluded.  They can see something for which they didn’t get an invite.  Since they know they didn’t get invited, there’s a possibility that they would do anything that they could to try and be “cool enough” to get invited to the party.  The more one doesn’t check social media, the less they have the pressure to live up to others’ standards.

Another great way to destress is to focus on creating a change in mindset, turning “I can’t’ to “I can.” In a recent study conducted at the University of Texas at Austin and the University of Rochester, psychologists wanted to see if a small shift in mindset could reduce teenagers’ social stress. They found that with a simple, half-hour training, they could help teens cope better, keep their bodies calmer and even do better in school.  The other half of the students that participated in the control group also learned a growth mindset, but applied it to the physical environment in high school, not the social one.  They took their mindset to achieve their own version of greatness in academics.

Stress can be a tough thing to deal with, especially with teenagers in the technology-laden modern world.  Teenagers need to be reminded that there’s more to life than the latest party. Also, the fact that competing with others for academic (or social) greatness will not make or break you is important to remember. Tools and remedies need to be available that can help them when they can’t control their stress. With these supports, teenagers can learn to be calmer and happier individuals.

Restorative Yoga for panic attacks, anxiety and chronic fatigue - Video

Everyday stress tied in with varied mental illnesses can be debilitating. Unfortunately, many of us have these experiences, either as chronic conditions, or simply as part of everyday living. Finding healthy, doable and motivating resources for navigating them can be a challenge made more difficult in the midst of the struggle. Malia, a certified yoga instructor, writer, and mental health advocate, shares her restorative sequence which focuses on relaxing the body and mind.  It is ideal for panic attacks, anxiety, and chronic fatigue.  As we look for ways to begin new, healthy patterns, why not reap the many benefits of yoga practice?

Natural remedies and treatments are crucial

       

     When I got the diagnosis of having Crohn’s disease and was told that it was incurable, I was given few options. The traditional medical field offered medications or surgery, like a permanent colostomy at some point. There was no talk of things like dietary changes, the recommendation to stop smoking or the need for stress management.  None of these options were even mentioned as possible ways to ease my suffering. 

            I even asked the doctors about diet, smoking and stress. They just scoffed at me saying that they had no bearing on my condition.  Initially, I believed their response, or at least didn’t question it further because it was easier to just continue taking the pills they prescribed than to change daily habits in my life. Plus, they were medical doctors who I had been raised and told by society to trust. 

            The original medications didn't work and I became so ill that my gastroenterologist decided to try a new form of medication that was starting to be used for people with my condition. It was an immunosuppressant drug that would basically shut off (suppress) my immune system. This would leave me defenseless and more readily open to infection, so my doctor warned me that if I took this medication I could potentially get a cold that turned into a deadly case of pneumonia. Given that  I was already in a death spiral even with my current immune system, this new option didn’t seem like the course of action I wanted to take.
 

That’s when I had my epiphany. I stopped believing that what I had was incurable. It was many pieces that got me sick, like a puzzle, so all I needed to do was find the puzzle pieces that would make me well.  To reverse the process and take the Crohn's disease puzzle apart.  That would involve finding natural methods to regain my health and restore it back to balance. It’s in our body’s natural alkaline state where heath resides, because disease can only thrive in an acidic environment.
 

I discovered strategies that supported my physical body such as learning to hydrate properly, deep breathing and to stop eating the foods that were feeding the yeast (candida) in my body that was causing chronic inflammation. These included yeast itself, white vinegar and other preservatives; sugar, caffeine and alcohol to name a few.
 

My steady regime of natural remedies worked and I was able to get off medication with the help of a complimentary medicine doctor.  Even after this triumph, however, I would sabotage myself without meaning to. After being stuck in this cycle for quite some time,  I finally realized that I needed to also work on my mind, emotions and spirit. This work included stress management and doing things like yoga, meditation, reading self-help books and going to self-improvement seminars.
 

In conclusion, there are times when we need traditional (western) medicine and surgery, I won't deny that.  Like when we have an acute situation such as an injury or infection, that is the time for traditional medicine. These methods, though, are often designed to shut off or remove vital parts of our bodies or their processes.  For long term health, in my opinion, it is crucial to use natural methods regularly that work with our bodies to restore and keep them in balance and in an alkaline state.

           

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Barbara Steingas is an award winning author, inspirational speaker and radiant life coach, helping people to optimize their health and vitality.  She can be found at Steingasbooks.  Barbara is a resident columnist, sharing her 21 Tips for Healing.

Listen to your elders

In talking about release and surrender of thoughts and things that don't serve you this month, I'm reminded of a conversation I had with my grandma a few months ago.  We were talking about my frustration concerning my "weight loss journey".  I put it in quotations because...  Who the hell actually calls it a weight loss journey and is serious about it, isn't mocking the term under their breath?  Not me, but that seems to be the PC term recently.

 Anyway, I was complaining to my Grandmother that no matter how much working out I do or how busy I am, no matter how clean I eat or whether I deny myself dessert, my weight doesn't seem to budge within a five to ten pound fluctuation.  This wasn't always the case as I lost a chunk of weight a few years ago that I've since gained back even though I continued to be active for almost a year. Moving on to the release part...

My Grandmother told me that I need to let go.  That was her advice.

She says I hold onto things too close.  My stress over our kids, their needs and wants.  My apprehension about one son in particular, what does his future look like?  My concern over work and finances.  Where is the money for this known future expense going to come from?  My worry over everything that I can't control. Which is so much.  My disquiet over doing my best on everything that I can control.  I'm kind of a control freak.  My frustration about today's society and the way its moving.  Why can't we all just get along?  Is there actually more violence or is it just that we're all so connected and I watch the news and am online all the time?  My continual anxiety about my husband's cycling and what if he gets hurt?

Safety, health, money, happiness, business, society and friendships.  As you might be able to tell, I stress a bit. So much that I had to use a thesaurus to find other words for "stress".  I hold it together and don't look like a ball of stress or even act like one most days.  To those who don't know me well, I seem pretty level-headed and calm.  I'm mellow and let things roll off my back like water off a duck's back in comparison to some people, but my grandmother knows me.

"Let go, Charla," she tells me.  "You're taking on too much stress and responsibility for things you can't control and your body is responding by holding on to everything like you do."

I know she's right.  At least in an emotional and mental sense.  I think she's probably at least partially right about the physical body part, too.  But it's hard.  Its hard to figure out what you should let go of and what you should hang onto.

Society stress? Yeah, not helpful for me, but if I don't pay attention, notice and work for change when I can, doesn't that take away my right to complain?
Kids' needs and wants and Toby's future?  If I don't help him and work in his corner, who will?  He's unable to do it himself.  And if I don't push Jake to be his best self, will he do it on his own?
Finances?  No one in my household even knows what's going on financially half the time, so if I don't keep track of stuff like this and consistently strive for a solution, who will?
Worry about Jon's health during cycling training and races?  He's crashed several times and needed emergency surgery.  I think that worry is pretty valid.

Letting go isn't as easy as it sounds, Grandma.  But I do know that by slowing down and taking a breath, I can change how I see things.  I can Are they mountains or molehills?  Is it something that I need to worry about or can change right now?  Maybe not.

Release it.

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The Grounding Rod - Focusing your energy in the present moment

Simple steps for avoiding a detox

In today's culture, detox seems to be the go-to for almost any health concern.  And why not?  We are often overwhelmed and so overloaded, that the idea of "letting go" of it all seems incredibly appealing.

However, sometimes a detox isn't the answer.  Oftentimes, there are simple solutions that require a more gentle letting go--such as releasing old paradigms and emotional patterns.

Lack of sleep

For those who are tired and have trouble falling asleep, I recommend leaving computers, cellphones and televisions out of the bedroom. When you get into bed at night and you are ready for sleep, do nothing except relax and settle your body down;  the stimulation to the pituitary and pineal gland from the screen lights is not one that is conducive to a state of relaxation. For those who fall asleep with the television on, while that may help you to fall asleep, you won’t get the deepest level of sleep that you could get. Try changing to light music without words or nature sounds . Burning two sticks of Nag Champa incense by the bedside about ten minutes prior to getting into bed helps bring deep sleep on for many, even where pharmaceuticals fail.

Stress, weight loss, and more

So many people are overworked today, and for some, there is no relief in sight. When stress can't be moved in some way, it must be managed. What I find that helps manage this level of stress is to teach the person something called Full Wave Breathing, taught by Tom Goode. It’s a style of breathwork that utilizes full movement of the diaphragm, which results in oxygenating the system and massaging internal organs. This helps with bowel movements, in addition to other benefits. Most people lose ten pounds or so when breathing in this fashion, consistently, every day. Regular full wave breath sessions alleviate two common causes of dysfunction in the body, lack of oxygen and the subsequent buildup of toxicity caused by it, which can then be further compounded by chronic dehydration. 

Dehydration and toxicity 

Dehydration, simply put, means that no toxicity is leaving your body no matter how hard you try because there is no exit pathway, or way for the toxins to leave the body. When one pulls toxins out of any internal organ and those toxins have no way to effectively exit the body, they don’t: they swim around the system and dump back into whatever weakness they can find, or these toxins can cross the blood brain barrier and give a person quite a headache. This is eliminated easily by hydrating a person very well when dehydration is an issue, as it is in varying degrees for most of us. 

Fortifying first, releasing second

Being undernourished is a problem for many of us as well. Even when the diet is very careful, the soil today still isn't rich with the nutrients that it was packed with 100 years ago. Sometimes people think they need to detoxify, when really what their body needs is to be fed better.  I am not a vitamin doctor so much as an organ doctor. By that I mean that the thrust of my practice for over a decade has been finding weaknesses in organ and gland function, and feeding those weaknesses through specific bodywork and supplementation tailored to each individual’s particular deficits. Read about a patient who found significant relief from fortifying his liver rather than struggling to detoxify it.

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Dr. Lisa M. Avila affords her clients safe, guided passage from pain/dysfunction to knowing and understanding his or her own body and what that body is trying to teach them.

Holiday Season Stress? Yes, You've Got in Under Control

This month Mind Key will be sharing stories and tips for living in the moment with ease and brilliance this holiday. Inspirational author and motivational speaker, Azuka Zuke, provides encouragement and insights on how we can remain positive and present with our loved ones and the beauty of peace during even the most stressful moments this holiday.

author Azuka Zuke

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                   It’s holiday season again.  A time when we get into the frenzy of celebrations. From holiday songs to decoration adorned houses lining streets of holiday shoppers. For some people, this is an exciting time. But for others, this can also be a tough time of year. We all want peace, beauty, mindfulness, happiness, strength and joy, but oftentimes we find ourselves overwhelmed with to-do lists that are too long, school stress, financial stress, job stress,  family matters and even illness as the weather changes.

Do you find yourself in any of these challenges? Are you overwhelmed with the pressures of  the holiday season? Are you running late in meeting the demands of shopping for all your family members? Are you stressed financially at this time of year? If you are in this category, I can assure you now that there is a better way to make the situation stress free. As a published author and motivational speaker, I have some advice for you to give you hope to be able to navigate the stresses of the holiday season and even beyond.

1.     Develop a positive attitude and apply it to any situation in which you find yourself. Understand that holidays will come and go and more will come, so do not beat yourself down if you do not achieve all you intended. You don’t have to do everything in one day.   No matter how late you are running on schedule, stay positive for it is the best attitude. 

2.     Delegate some duties to trusted relatives so you can have some breathing space and rest.  Delegating authority is very important. Oftentimes we want to do it all. In our desire to do the will of God, we may take on too many responsibilities. In as much as it is done with a clear intention for positive results, we end up overwhelming ourselves. The key is this- be positively minded, be a positive leader, exhibit all the positive energy, but delegate responsibilities. Moses spent every day listening to complaints from his loved people until he was told to slow down lest he wear himself out. He was advised to appoint capable people to help carry the load. In essence he was advised to appoint leaders from the positively minded people that surrounded him. That way they could all lead together to achieve more results and never be overwhelmed. In other words, we should learn to delegate and release burdens sometimes.  That way we can achieve more.

3.     Surrounding yourself with positive and happy people who will always discuss how great the holiday season is going, no matter what . Avoid negativity and self-criticisms.  That is the first step to thinking positively. Change your thoughts to positives and you are on the road to creating a great holiday season.

4.     Finally, play good music that keeps your body and soul together, laugh more, and meditate every morning and last thing at night before bed to relax yourself. Remember no matter how stressful things may be, no matter how busy you are, rest is still very important and a vital part of a healthy lifestyle.

Stay the course, stay strong and enjoy the season, but stay positive. You’ll be fine.

-       Azuka Zuke, Motivational Speaker/ Author. A disciple of the movement  for change and gratitude.   

Azuka is the author of inspirational books and loves speaking in schools.  His books will be available for sale this week in the Mind Key store.

Discover Azuka:

www.AzukaZuke.com      azukazuke@gmail.com 

Surviving the most wonderful time of the year

Peace, joy, happiness…

All words that we use to define the holiday season.

But how many of us actually feel these deep emotions during what is supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year?

Instead, we suffer through the holiday hustle and bustle.  The next trip to the store. The next gift we can't really afford. The next party we don't have the energy to enjoy…. And on and on and on it goes.  We promise ourselves this year it will be different.  This year we will sit and enjoy the holidays.  This year we will spend more time with our family and less ticking off our endless to-do lists.

Sometimes it works.  Usually not for long stretches, but in those blissful moments when our children get tangled in lights, or the dog eats a strand of tinsel.  When we get that unexpected or homemade gift that warms our heart, or when we see an old friend in town. 

They're so fleeting, those moments.  Especially when the holidays offer a different connotation—one of sadness at the loss of a loved one, or the weight of celebrating alone.

Whether the holidays represent stress, a tight budget, loss of time, loss of sanity, or immense sadness or loneliness… there's still hope…. Even if it's only in a meager collection of bright moments we can cherish among the rest.

I can't promise you that this year will be better… but I can promise you that you can see it differently.  With more love and joy and peace.  With more of the holiday cheer we all strive for.

Mind Key is here to help.  We're offering ideas and advice for honoring the most important person in your life this season—yourself.  Because when you are balanced and whole everyone around feels inspired, more at ease, and happier and healthier, too.

Continue reading all month long for words of inspiration and wisdom, ideas for destressing, decluttering, and connecting in the moment.  For great gift ideas meant to share the gift of inspiration, connection and healing, and discounts that make them budget friendly.

If you are reading and thinking "this is SO not me…" we want to hear from you, too!  What keeps you uplifted as the year draws to a close?  How do you bring the magic back in each moment?