Connecting the Dots - Giving Back and Paying it Forward

Giving back and paying it forward. 

While they are phrases that are heard an awful lot recently, there are so many different motivations for the actual actions associated with them.  Giving back can give you a warm fuzzy feeling inside.  The feeling of doing good and giving to those "less fortunate" than you.  To show and share appreciation for your knowledge and your life, the experience you've gained living your specific life.  Barbara shares her health experience by helping others put together their healing puzzle pieces based off her own personal life. 

We each have a unique experience to share because we're all connected.  I talked about connecting with teen parents and members of the low income community. I share my experience regarding being organized and staying on "top of the water" that some feel might drown them.  I enjoy sharing resources and encouragement, showing people that it is possible to be successful, no matter your circumstances.







Lisa found that mentoring was not only beneficial to her mentee, but also to herself, to see how far she's come in her life.

Volunteering allows you to support the community where you live, a region or even giving globally to cause with which you connect.  It allows you to contribute to something larger than yourself, not only giving to them, but also learning to appreciate what you have and how far you've come, as Lisa found while mentoring.  Also, aside from your time, Vera points out that volunteering can be free.



Talking about things most shy away from and spreading a message of acceptance and understanding was the theme of our guest blogger this month, Jessica McWhirt, the director of and a participant in the Vagina Monologues in Denver, CO.  Empowering women, both actors as well as those who come to the theater to experience, to be comfortable with the taboo subjects we as a society tend to hide.





During this month of talking about giving back and paying it forward, several tragedies have struck.  Sadly, in today's world, these killings and disasters are not anomalies, but everyday occurrences.  Closest to home for most of us, the mass shooting at the Pulse nightclub in Florida brought together the community in Orlando, the LGBT community, the whole country as well as the world.  Words like tragedy, disaster, catastrophe and calamity don't even seem to touch the feelings of loss, sadness, frustration, horror and grief.  As Danielle so eloquently put it, we all ask "Why?"  Without an understandable concrete answer in any of these cases, we can only surmise and work to take steps to avoid this possibility in the future.  We pull together as a global community and hold one another in our stunned grief and we do our best to move on with our daily lives. 

Father's Day was the main holiday this month, allowing us a chance bring back the positivity and to celebrate the roles of fathers in our lives.  Parenting is the ultimate giving back and paying it forward, actually allowing each of us to mold the future of our world by having a direct impact on a tiny human who will hopefully outlive us and make this world a better place.

How was your June?  Who did you connect with and how did you/do you give back or pay it forward?


July on Mind Key is going to be centered around healing with nature.  How Mother Earth has put so many resources here with us that so many of us tend to overlook.  Stay with us and learn as we do!

NJ Event - Acting Auditions July 6th

Give back to your community by sharing yourself and your acting skills!

 

On Mentoring...

Recently, I received an unexpected request: Will you mentor me? The request was from a woman whom I had met once, and who was at the beginning of her career in a different field of health care. The request took me by surprise and I wondered how to translate what I knew for her. Although there are some similarities, the difference between our fields required me to think very expansively in order to translate my professional experiences and observations into something usable for her.   

I created and built my business from scratch. I have always felt very secure about my clinical abilities, and had always thought I would love to pass on the diverse knowledge I have and continue to acquire. What I never expected was how taking on the role of mentor would benefit me.

Mentoring has allowed me to take pride in my work in a completely new way, to see the career that I have worked so hard to build through fresh eyes.

That has been an incredible reality check, in the best possible way. Throughout the years I have kept very focused, concentrating on the individual cases of resolving people's issues that lie before me, and expanding my knowledge base, while never stopping to acknowledge the specifics of what I have accomplished up to this point. Now that I have begun to survey my achievements in this way, I have not only gained a healthy professional affirmation, but it has also allowed me to think critically about the new directions available as I take my practice into the future.
 

This renewed examination of my clinical skills has also offered a different level of analysis of the work I do as I break it down and make it translatable to someone in a different aspect of health care. What I have been shown from this aspect of mentoring is my effectiveness as a teacher. That has made me very happy, and it has led to a new, unexpected layer of fulfillment in my life.

Mentoring someone who, as it happens, reminds me so much of myself at the beginning of my career, has allowed me a feeling of "paying it forward" in the world. I love what I do and I know that I am lucky for that. I know that I have been given a wonderful gift in this life. Being able to help someone else eager to find a similar path in her life has made me feel even more grateful to be able to pay forward all the joy that my professional life has afforded me. That in itself is an amazing gift. This relationship with my mentee has brought me to a new level of appreciation for my life.  

From an early age, I knew that my life would be dedicated to service. Now, in my role as a mentor, I have just added a new layer of beautiful color and richness to that service.  

I hope that reading this post allows some of you to consider taking on someone to mentor. You have more to give than you know, and the rewards of this giving come back ten fold.

Lots of love to you...

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Dr. Lisa M. Avila affords her clients safe, guided passage from pain/dysfunction to knowing and understanding his or her own body and what that body is trying to teach them. 



You don't have to be rich to pay it forward

When I retired in 2012 and moved to Pennsylvania, I kept telling my friends this would be my time of giving back.  I started volunteering at a therapeutic riding center near my home.  Started learning Reiki, something I had wanted to do since my twenties. Volunteered at the local Food Pantry and a local Humane Society.  I even offered my Reiki services to the senior citizen facility in town but they weren’t keen on the “new age” stuff.

Over time I cut down on my activities.  Cleaning a litter box the size of a kiddie pool at the Humane Society “cat” house did a number on my asthma.   The local Food Pantry had so many volunteers we kept stepping all over ourselves.  I still volunteer at the therapeutic riding center on a lot of different levels.  I’m doing my Reiki healing thing often for little or no compensation. If someone needs an energy blast, I will oblige.  Things have died down now to a dull roar. So I guess I am actively giving back or really paying it forward. But they are totally different concepts, I think.  I didn’t give it much thought until now.

The concept of paying it forward has a foundation in history. In 1784, founding father Ben Franklin lent one Benjamin Webb some money asking in a letter that Mr. Webb not repay him directly. Instead, Franklin hoped that Webb would at some point meet an “honest man” in need of financial help and pass the money along to him.  And so the concept of paying it forward crept into our historical framework.  I guess what I called my “time of giving back” is really a time of “paying it forward”.  I didn’t use money though.  I’ve always been a sweat equity kind of person.   So paying it forward for me involves doing, rather than contributing financially. 
 

I just arranged for a new restaurant here in Milford PA to serve crepes at a meeting with some town people at the therapeutic riding center.  My husband Dave and I want them to succeed.  We really don’t know them well, just started having crepes there about once a week.  Maybe its selfish, because we love good food.  But seeing a new business thrive was something we wanted to do. Life has been good to Dave and I. We are retired, living in a house we love, surrounded by our animals.  We have a few good friends we can depend on.  So why not pay it forward?  You need not have been lent money and told to repay it to someone else.  You don’t have to be rich.  And best of all, it can be fun.

 

 

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Vera's Rave'n - The many aspects of Shamanism



NY/NJ Event - Mini Summer Psychic Fair Sunday 6/26

Mind Key supports all facets of the human experience including the spiritual. 

 

Why tragedy happens

We each process life, love, and tragedy in our own way.  For me, the only way to understand the world is to continually ask the question: "Why?"

So when tragedy like 9/11, the Sandy Hook shootings, or the recent Orlando shooting happens, I spend much time in solitude trying to figure out why.

The Sandy Hook shootings marked a poignant moment in my life. At that time, my daughter was a half year away from entering kindergarten… something I wasn't ready for, and was uncertain about as it was. Then an entire school of young children underwent a horror that I still can't even imagine. This rocked me for months.

And the question of why never left my mind.  The answer arrived the following April.

During opening day in Yankee Stadium, there was a moment of silence for the lives lost at Sandy Hook. I could feel the emotion in the stadium.  It was palpable. All that energy and love being sent in silence to those souls who died, and to those still suffering from the loss.

In that moment of silence I realized why.  Why tragedy strikes.  Why bad things happen to good people, to innocent people.  Those who are gone no longer suffer.  We suffer.  And in our suffering we do good. 

Never is the inherent strength and goodness of humanity as apparent as when tragedy strikes.  The more severe the tragedy, the more powerfully communities band together to support one another and do good in the world.  Anyone in New York during the final months of 2001 can attest to that.  Only when tragedy strikes does the entire globe come together in ways it never would otherwise to give back and do good so selflessly.

There is never the same kind of goodwill toward others in happy moments.  A wedding will never generate as much love between friends and family as a funeral. When we see goodness, our instinct is to bask in it, to take some of it for our own.  But when we see suffering... we instinctually give of ourselves to ease it.





I believe that one day we will learn to bring that goodness and strength and love into our daily lives.  To give to and love each other the way we do so selflessly when we see suffering.  Then humanity will no longer have a need for tragic events. 

Then we can stop asking why.







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Danielle Rose, The Alchemist - Making magic from the mundane



Parenting - the ultimate adventure in paying it forward

When you become a parent, either by nature or nurture, you wipe its butt just like your parent wiped yours.  We feed the child, clothe them and teach them by our actions, watching as the milestones pass.  We kiss boo boos, worry about them, lose sleep and hope for their future. We follow in the footsteps of every parent, not just our own.  The actions we remember as perceived parenting missteps from our own childhood, we're sure to do differently if we can resist the pull of history and genetics which, at times, might be too strong. 

No handbooks come with a new baby.  They should.  Every piece of advice ever given should come with each new child as downloadable content, straight to your brain.  Kind of like Neo learned Kung Fu in the Matrix.  Wouldn't that be awesome?  All of the advice, expertise and experience of those much wiser than ourselves accessible and at our fingertips.

But it's not like that.  We fumble along and we do our best with what we have.  We strive to make our children's lives better than ours have been, to give them more than we had and to make them smile.  A child's smile is a wonderful reward.

An awesome smile

An awesome birthday party pic

Children laughing at a puppet show

Meditation for accepting another's path

If I have never walked the path of my brother

If I have never felt his pain

If my lessons have not walked a darkened path

If I hold every thought every feeling every lesson within my soul

I will hold every judgment on this path that I embark on now

In my own evaluation

Will I reach my hand out to my brother

Only seeing his light

Remembering only the love

As we reach out light to another soul

We will allow that connection of light

The connection of our own soul to another

Both of us becoming part of the universe

Connecting

Being

Both taking our rightful place

Leaving all darkness

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Kathleen Santora teaches meditations and self-healing through the understanding of one’s own personal energy. A spiritual healer for the past 30 years, Kathleen began trance healing later when she became aware that angels were working with her during healings. She has since learned to step back and allow her angels to come forward and work through her.

RI Event--A Party for the People

A Party for the People

Sunday, June 26^th from 12-6pm

323 Valley Rd, Middletown, RI 02842

Admission of $35 per adult (10+), $20 for children age 5-10 and children under 5, free  The admission fee includes:

• Live music all day from three of our favorite local bands (music starts at noon)
• Food included all day
• Tons of games for kids and adults with free prizes for the kids
• A huge bouncy house for the kids
• A cash bar for the adults

Interested in going?

Click here for more info and to buy advance tickets:

www.MindKey.me/GoodTimeProductions

Every great party has a great story.  Here's ours:
http://mindkeyblog.blogspot.com/2016/06/ri-event-party-thats-giving-back.html


With music by:

  Noon

  2:30

  3:30

The party that's giving back

Looking for good music, good food, and good times this weekend? Look no further than A Party for the People, happening Sunday, June 26th in Middletown, RI. The day is about creating a sense of community and goodwill for all of us who have given back in some way to help others, event organizer and owner of Good Time Productions, Michael Hayes, said.

"Everything that happens impacts the next person because [on the island] they're so close," Michael said. "I wanted to give something back to everybody.  We are always struck by tragedy, but I wanted to do this for a positive reason."

Over the past decade, Michael's watched friends battle cancer, lose their loved ones and homes unexpectedly to tragedy, and time and time again, he's seen his neighbors and community pull together to help those suffering and in need. These are the people who have inspired Michael by their strength and endurance. They have inspired others to be the best version of themselves, and they are the reason that he finally decided to pull together his resources, create Good Time Productions, and give back to the community in a moment of positivity, not grief.

"Everyone on Aquidneck Island has come together to help each other at one time or another," Michael said.

To add to the energy of giving back, a portion of all proceeds for the party will be donated to the Potter League for animals, helping them rescue animals for adoption. 

"It was not my intention to be selfish in this," Michael said. "I knew there would be extra money, and I wanted it to go somewhere that deserved it. I've had 3 dogs, and each one has been a rescue dog from Potter League.  These animals are a part of the island, too."

Michael has been a musician and a songwriter since he was 13, and a cook for about as long.  He loves people, loves organizing, loves bringing people together, and realized that his strength is in the combination of these talents, rather than in any one specifically. A Party for the People became a way to combine his passions into one monster undertaking that is bringing the community together for a positive cause.

"I want people to walk away inspired and fulfilled in a way, not only knowing that they had a great time, but just by the thought that it wasn't tragedy that brought us together.  The people that have survived, the people that have donated all that money and don't need anything in return.  That they had a good time, not feeling broke, or that they were taken advantage of by this fair."

This is not a festival where you pay your entry fee, then keep paying all day.  This is a party for the people. This is an opportunity to remind each other of the good we do every day, of the good that we deserve, and the community we build in each moment of neighborly love.  It's a thank you for being you, for being good, and for giving back.

Interested in going? 

 Discover more info and buy advance tickets at

 www.MindKey.me/GoodTimeProductions

http://mindkeyblog.blogspot.com/2016/06/ri-event-party-for-people.html

NJ Event - Drum Circle tomorrow night!

Reflecting on recent losses, near and far, I know it's ever important to celebrate life. So, let's make some noise! If you haven't already, please let us know if you're coming.

 

Looking forward to spending this time with you,
Ruth

   

Drumming with others is an ancient practice that people have used for millennia all over the globe to connect, heal, learn, witness and celebrate with each other. It’s only been in the last few hundred years that many people in our modern cultures have stopped connecting in this way. 

Drum Circle Facilitator Vera Remes will lead us as we use various forms of vibration, such as simple clapping, drum, and rattle rhythms to create deep relaxation which allows the mind and body to become quiet.  Circle may include group drumming, chanting and breath work which will lead you to gain energized mental clarity, open creative inspiration, and expand your conscious awareness.  There will be elements of meditation and shamanic journeying (meditation for Type A personalities) and the inevitable Reiki share. ;) ;) Carving out this time to practice this form of meditation will deepen your access to relaxation and provide an opportunity for sharing your experiences. 

Let's Celebrate the Full Strawberry Moon
with a
Drum Circle & Bonfire
on Saturday, June 18th

As you've noticed, we planned the drum circle schedule around the full moon—the Algonquin tribes knew this Moon as a time to gather ripening strawberries. It is also known as the Rose Moon and the Hot Moon. 

I have a feeling this will be a really sweet celebration!

Beginning at 7pm at Reiki Ruth's Retreat

  Your $15 per person donation to help cover expenses is greatly appreciated,
we would not be able to continue without your generous participation!
 

Please feel free to bring a friend, and a drum, rattle
or percussion instrument of your choice.
(Extra drums and rattles will be available. Don't worry if you're not musical, you can't do it wrong!)

The path is rugged in spots, so please wear sturdy shoes.
We expect to be outside, so wear/bring an extra layer in case it gets chilly.
(If it's too cold or raining, we can always move indoors!)

 
Over the river and through the woods... 30 Colfax Drive, Ringwood, NJ 07456 Cross the footbridge, take the path to the left past the house and up the hill to the fire pit. Telephone: 973-728-3535 or 201-960-4893

For the full schedule of drum circles this year, go to: http://reikiruth.weebly.com/drum-circles.html

 

Dadpreneurs!

Thanks to Ann Noder at Pitch Public Relations, we found out about these awesome Dadpreneurs and in the spirit of a stupendous Father's Day, we wanted to share them with you.

Jon Sumroy, dad of four, is the brains behind the new mifold - the most advanced, compact and portable child car safety seat in the world - ten times smaller than a regular booster seat. Rather than "boosting" kids up - the seat brings down the seat belt to a child's size. It’s so compact it can even fit into a back pocket! The company is now in manufacturing to meet massive customer orders after exceeding its Kickstarter goal.

Edward McCloskey has launched the first chemical-free baby wipe (new to the U.S market) after struggling to find a solution for his daughter's bad diaper rash. WaterWipes was a hit in the UK and now newly in major U.S stores such as Babies "R" Us, Target, etc.

Avi Lele wanted to give his kids, nieces, and nephews stock in their favorite brands, but gave up because it was such a hassle - the process was difficult and stock prices were too expensive. Then, frustration turned to inspiration and he recently launched Stockpile – the first ever gift card for stock. Consumers pick up a gift card for stock at local grocery and retail locations, making buying stock as easy as picking up a gallon of milk. Stockpile gift cards are available in various denominations and make it easy and affordable to buy stock for yourself or gift it to friends and family.









Dad of two girls, Marc Toland, is revolutionizing in-home fire safety with Sooner Alarm's PlugSafe™, a savvy device that is more dependable than traditional smoke detectors. The heat sensor has an added layer of security that detects any problem at the most frequent source -- the electrical outlet -- with wireless communication to the remote alarm that notifies homeowners of any fire before it spreads.









Business owner Bryan Nooner developed a new idea when he and his family could not keep their outdoor light cords dry. After trying everything he could think of to makeshift some waterproof protection, the Twist and Seal idea was born - a great solution for string or bistro lights and covers small plugs and keep them weather-resistant. Now selling in major outdoor retailers and online, the company is booming!

Robert Lupton created Life Saver Pool Fence in 1987 with the goal of making pools safer for kids. Fast forward 28 years, the company is now operated by his son Eric Lupton, and is the number one pool fence company in the world.

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Do you any dadpreneurs that you'd like Mind Key to spotlight? 

Giving Back through Taboo Words - Guest Blog by Jessica McWhirt

Today, guest Blogger Jessica McWhirt, shares how it feels to give back to the community through the empowering performance of this collection of risqué monologues.
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As the word “vagina” broke from my lips, the audience’s eyes widened a little, mouths opened slightly, and wine-filled glasses hung midair awaiting my next words.

Even though my words make my audience recoil in their chairs, I know we’re creating awareness. 

It’s not easy to hear taboo subjects, let alone repeat forbidden words in front of 600 eyes. My Vagina Monologues cast and the hundreds of casts throughout the world swallow uncomfortable topics and silences to raise awareness of violence against women. The money we raise from these performances goes directly to an organization that works to end violence against women within our community.

“I bet you’re worried,” I say, as I stare directly into the stranger’s eyes sitting in the front row. “We were worried,” follows. “We were worried about vaginas.”

I’ve directed The Vagina Monologues for the past three years and it never gets easier, I just get better at handling people and details. The women who join my cast are drawn to The Vagina Monologues just like anyone is drawn to anything. Something in this play hits a nerve: a sensitive nerve, a hurt nerve, a strong nerve, an angry nerve, a funny nerve, an abused nerve.

The cast of women and I connect with each other between the lines in the play; where the details of our lives try to hide, but whenever we repeat a certain line, the emotional charge it elicits washes over our faces. We can’t hide our emotions when we practice in front of each other. Some of us choke it back while others let the tears flow. There’s always a gentle smile or sincere hug that follows in our group. We won’t hide our emotions.

We connect with our audience as they listen to harsh words describing rape, and in the same play, the hilariousness of fantasizing about Burt Reynolds. The energy of our audience wavers and flows just like the moon pulls the ocean. It’s not an easy task to make someone laugh at the thought of discovering one’s vagina in one monologue, while another monologue triggers a suppressed memory. But at the end of each performance, someone leaves touched, unafraid, and empowered by “vaginas,” growing our Vagina Warrior circle throughout the community.

We don’t perform these monologues to become stars. We don’t spend months practicing and memorizing lines just to forget them the day after our performance. We are slaves to these words because they inevitably free us. We perform this play to free the men and women in the audience who have been hurt in the past or are currently hurting in hopes that when they no longer hurt, it will help others. We do it for ourselves, we do it for each other, and we do it for our community. We are Vagina Warriors. 



The cast of the Vagina Monologues - Denver, Colorado



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Jessica McWhirt talking to the audience

Jessica McWhirt is an avid cyclist, activist, and writer. She spends the weekends riding 100s of miles and the nights pouring her soul on to paper. Every February you can expect her on stage. She co-runs and manages Cyclizing.com and has her own travel writing blog: jessicaptain.wordpress.com. She does it all with the support of her cat, Klaus.


Moments with Dad

Dads give so much for their families.  This Father's Day, we're giving back by sharing our favorite Dad moments and the best Dad advice. What are your favorite fathering moments?

Here are some fond memories from our Mind Key Community via Facebook.

"One of my favorite things - sitting in the backyard on a summer afternoon, listening to the Yankees on the radio with my dad...... Late 50's, early 60's," Betsy Kershaw Arnoldi

"My favorite memory of me and my dad was playing on the swing set he built for me," Charla Dury

"For me, my favorite father/daughter moments have always taken place on mission trips to Honduras that I've gone on with my family. I live for those 10 days every year that I get to spend with my Dad making memories with him and those we hold closest to our hearts," Erin Ernest.

"My most fond memory of my dad when I was a kid was the Daddy Daughter dates.  He'd take each of us out alone to ice cream.  In a family of four kids, that one-on-one time was pretty special.  But those memories are probably neck and neck with the camping trips.  Sometimes he'd just take us kids with sleeping bags and we'd go sleep under the stars."  Lydia Holmes-Corsi.


John David Dupre still fondly remembers spending time at the beach with his father in Newport, RI as a child.  He's since returned to his hometown, and said that it's always felt like home.

John Dupre and his dad, Newport RI, 1979

Danielle and her grandpa circa 1980

Although I would never be the woman I am without summers at the beach doing handstands with my grandfather, or sitting on the back porch playing blackjack as a kid, one of my favorite moments with Grandpa happened only a couple short years before his passing, when he walked me down the aisle. The look of love and pride in this photograph is one of my favorite memories.

Dads also have great advice.  These fathers from Watermark Retirement Communities across the nation offer their experience and advice to young dads this Father's Day. 

 

James Chandler

“Be very careful what you do dollar wise. Be very patient and work together with your wife. Enjoy the little moments,” James Chandler, Wilmington, DE.

Ed Morrison

“A boss of mine once said, ‘Success begins by showing up.’ It’s as true for you as a father as it is for you as an employee or an athletic team member. And it starts early,” said Ed Morrison, father of seven. He added, “Time spent with your child says ‘I love you. You are important to me. I care about who you are becoming,’" Ed Morrison, Frisco, TX.

Chad Johnson

Chad Johnson of Palm Desert, CA, said his favorite quote is also his best advice to today’s dads: “The best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.” (Source unknown).

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What are your favorite Dad memories?  

Dads, what advice do you have for new fathers this Fathers's Day?