Mindfulness

Mindfulness.

Merriam Webster’s dictionary defines mindfulness as:

1:  the quality or state of being mindful

2:  the practice of maintaining a nonjudgmental state of heightened or complete awareness of one's thoughts, emotions, or experiences on a moment-to-moment basis; also:  such a state of awareness

When I think of mindfulness now, I think of yoga, meditation, hot tea and incense.  And calm.

Calm is a difficult concept for me.  With all of the roles I play in my life and the hecticness of my calendar, I don’t make enough time for myself.  

As an aside:  Notice I said make instead of find time.  There’s enough time.  As much as I joke that I could use more hours in the day (couldn’t we all?) if it’s important to you, you’ll find the time.  We tell our kids that if the end result were important to them, they’d get their chores done in a more timely fashion.  If that TV show is important, we’ll make time to watch it preferably uninterrupted.  If you make yourself a priority, you can find the time.

Back to calm.  <Deep breath with the whole slow arm flapping movement>

Believe it or not, there was a time that I didn’t even know the word mindfulness, let alone the definition.  There was a time when I ran from place to place like a chicken with my head cut off, smoking frantically on the fringes of the activity, always music or TV on for “background noise”.  Now I do all the same things without the smoking AND I know the word and definition of mindfulness.  Impressive, right?

Actually, I’ve always tried to practice the non-judgmental part of the mindfulness concept.  I’m very good at seeing other points of view and can play a mean devil’s advocate.  I am usually defending someone telling those around me, “Be kind!  You don’t know what they’re going through!”  You don’t know if that pushy jackass on the highway is in the middle of a medical emergency for his child or if that rude woman in line at the grocery store just lost her mother and is having a really hard day or if that politician got bad information from someone he trusted and was doing what he thought was right, however misguided.”  I’m really good at making excuses for and being kind to other people.  There’s very little I can’t forgive.  Not so much for myself.

I’ve got a lot going on in my life and I’ve been a bit stressed recently.  But, like the feeling while most people are watching that jackass on the highway, I have been having trouble being kind to myself.  I have very high expectations for myself.  I expect to be calm, patient, pleasant, efficient, logical, active, helpful, committed, loyal, attentive, passionate, accommodating, organized and giving to name just a few.

I’m taking steps toward better mental health for myself.  Over the last few months I’ve resumed my acupuncture appointments for internal physical balance, started taking Chinese herbs for increased relaxation and mood stability and am working on a daily meditation streak on my calm.com app.  I need to make frequent blogging part of my mental health as well.

Be kind to one another.  But even more importantly, be kind to yourself.  You’re the only you you get.  

 What act of kindness have you done for yourself recently?

An Excerpt from The Golden Skillet

I don't wear skirts. I don't wear heels. If I haven't made that obvious yet, then my apologies for losing you this late in the game.
But for some reason I felt compelled to wear a black skirt with black heels for Daisy's viewing day, which comprised of one afternoon and one evening show. I say "show" because when I think about it now, for some reason we should have had some balloon races or a magician. Instead, we had photo montages and pregnancy banter since a handful of attendees were sporting baby bumps - children who would never experience her pancakes or Duck Pond triumphs. I was fine with the standard socializing and grieving that is part of the process of a loved one's departure from...whatever the heck we can call this plain of existence nowadays.

The morning of the wake, I was not okay with the black pantyhose throttling my gapless inner thighs. I was not okay with the dye from my shoes rubbing off on my legs as I sat pretzel-legged on the floor, deciding what pictures to carry with me for the day. I was not okay with the fact that she would not meet the puppy I got two weeks later. I didn't leave myself time to eat anything besides a granola bar, and I was surprisingly okay with that because I saw it as karma. I was getting ready to teach dangling modifiers the morning she passed, and I never once thought, "No, not today."
When my great-grandmother died in 1993, I was too young to recognize how different wakes and funerals are. Don't get me wrong by saying this, and keep in mind I have limited experience with death, but wakes seem to be a bit enjoyable, almost fun. Wakes are one of the few times where you can laugh raucously, cry slovenly, and look fantastic all at the same time. The reason you look fantastic is because you don't have to give a shit. You could grow mushrooms in your pits and smell like a ferret. Who cares? You have come nose to nose with this thing called mortality. Something you never think about until someone dies. Someone you made yourself believe was Zeus or Hera.

Why Mind Key Is My Second Home - Tamara Rokicki

When you’re a writer, it’s very difficult to find that homey, comfortable feeling.  The world, as we see it, is this monotonous and rule-enforced place in which we spend a timeline called life.  It’s beautiful and enjoyable, don’t get me wrong, but when you have a story to tell, the real world just doesn’t cut it.  There are words to be found, immortalized, and written to craft stories that have yet to be told.  It’s both a heavy and exhilarating burden because the struggle to produce such stories, and then share them with the world, requires a huge leap into the unknown—and it requires faith. 

The Leap of Faith

Among the vulnerability, chaos and uncertainty of putting yourself out there, as a writer you need to first find a place where you can truly connect.  When I say Mind Key is my second home, I refer to what I seek during my writing journey.  Sure, writers who are serious about their work want to be published, but there’s so much more.  There’s an intrinsic desire to fulfill through the written word. To do that means to fulfill others.   

When I was a little girl, I overheard my mother talking to a friend and something she said has stuck with me through the years.   There’s a pot for every lid, she said.  It implied that there’s a soul mate for everyone out there, the ‘right one’ that will come along when fate so decides.  I don’t think it’s that much different for writers.  For every piece of work, every written creation and every path we choose to take, there are readers who can be touched by our work.  They are the lids to our pot, the one we stir madly, adding the mismatched ingredients of fictional madness, long sleepless nights, outlines, rough drafts and characters so vividly living in our minds that we feel them coursing through our veins.  

Connection

It’s about connection.  If you fail to connect, to truly reach out and expect someone reaching back, then are our words really inspiring, immortalized, and meaningful?

It is here, at Mind Key, that I find that connection.  As a contributing writer, I’ve realized how essential creative connectedness has become.  Mind Key focuses on emotional, physical and spiritual awareness, understanding how creativity—whether it is found in a photo, a painting, blogging or a novel—can enrich us on so many levels.   Healing, spiritual awareness, and inner strength are part of a world with which we can connect and in which we can thrive.  At Mind Key we’re all given a key to this world, along with the encouragement to find out more about ourselves and the world around us.   

Have you connected yet and are you ready to unlock your potential?

Check out an excerpt from my current work-in-progress, Aiken’s Wings

My Mind Key Experience - Tara Ann Lesko

My involvement in Mind Key has given me a new appetite for knowledge and self-expression. Until I met Danielle Rose and started participating in Mind Key the Blog, I had no idea I could be a multi-faceted writer and artist. The topics I have written about for the blog, and the creative spirits I have met through the Mind Key Project have opened an otherwise cynical and one-track mind. Okay, I am still a bit cynical and rough around the edges. But Mind Key has persuaded me to explore boundless realms of creativity and spirituality.




Let me put it this way. If someone told me three short years ago I would be starting a collage party business and studying shamanism or tarot, I would have smacked my forehead in bewilderment. Now, thanks to Mind Key, I am never short on inspiration and affirmation. To date, I am almost finished with my book titled, The Golden Skillet--a memoir about self-discovery, self-acceptance, spirituality, and all the hard knocks in between, and is told through my life-long relationship with food. Recipes included.

  I am also working on a piece of fantasy short fiction and a narrative collection of poems, since poetry will always be my first love. Mind Key has kept me committed to the craft of writing, no matter how overwhelmed my every day gets. As a high school teacher, college teacher, and a third-time-around college student, I make it too easy for myself to put aside writing--one of the few things in my life, besides my dog, that has remained steady and loyal.

This community reminds me that it's okay to not have it all together all of the time, and I have every right as a human being to push aside monotony. My writing and my artwork is proudly featured in the Mind Key Anthology, and I am honored to be the winner of this year's Mind Key Minute Novel Challenge. I can go on forever about how Mind Key has been a blessing to me, but I am sworn to keep this under 500 words, so Peace, Love, and Mac & Cheese. :)

Tara <3

How Mind Key began

I began Mind Key the Novel as a writer exploring the illuminated spaces in my mind.  It began after a focusing session where I gave substance and vision to the persistent lump in my throat….

That's when things began to change.  I always knew I had the ability to manifest my reality through my art, but this novel allowed me to do more than just create, it allowed me to see the world around me more clearly.  My guides and the faeries in my life began revealing themselves through the words on the page. They encouraged me to take chances, be daring and follow my dreams.

And so I did.

Arwork my Michelle Farenci

What I never expected was the overwhelming response this endeavor would cultivate.  People began rallying around the idea of the novel—a story where we learn how to see ourselves—truly and honestly see ourselves—and how to use that insight to heal and create the lives we wish for.

Not everyone can get a letter to Hogwarts, but everyone can learn Noelle Ricci's magic.

And that's what Mind Key is here for.  We are a unique blend of healers, businesses and artists whose primary goal is to live their passion, and to help you live yours.

novel cover by Dana Bree

I'm constantly amazed by the wholehearted participation of our members.  Despite their incessantly harried schedules, they continually offer their resources and talents to help others grow, and so find themselves growing exponentially. In doing so, they are helping others grow exponentially as well.

What amazes me the most is how willing each and every member is to provide insight, advice, and resources for each other. We have built a support group that Noelle would be proud of.

Mind Key the novel, along with five other novels, is now a finalist in a contest that will produce a traditional publishing contract for the winner. But even better than that, I will have the opportunity to talk about Mind Key with the three judges—a publicist, an agent, and a publisher. This opportunity is

it's exactly what we at Mind Key have been doing for each other—sharing advice and feedback to help each other grow.

I would be incredibly remiss, however, to take credit for this on my own. Without the support of the Mind Key team—including Charla Dury, Tamara Rokicki, Rebecca Godina, Tara Lesko and Dana Bree, to name only a few—I would never have finished the novel, let alone brought it to a place where it is publish-worthy.  I have learned so much from other Mind Key Project members. I have thrived through their support, and I have been encouraged to continue when things became overwhelming or difficult.

I am eternally grateful to those who have put their energy into this project, as without them I would still be in a dark place, slogging through a never-to-be-finished novel.

Instead, I am today following my dream.

Charla's story of Mind Key - Charla Dury

I’ve been blogging off and on for nine years.  That’s right, I said 9 whole years!  I started on MySpace (can you believe that I mentioned MySpace to a younger coworker today and he had no idea what I was talking about?) and I gained a tremendous following.  Over 300 subscribers.  I blogged about  family, friends, life, politics, love, kids, poetry (and poetry games) and personal experiences. Pretty much anything.  Except fiction.  I read fiction, I don’t write much of it.  

Sadly sinking MySpace

I blogged on MySpace for a few years, making many new friends along the way.  I created Charlapalooza and Walk The Word (incredibly attended and insanely popular poetry games,) was picked up as a weekly poet on TheBlueDoodle.com and, with the friends I acquired, edited many a story.  

Then one day, MySpace sadly sprung a leak and Facebook grew in its place.

While I am on Facebook, it’s not my thing.  I much preferred the MySpace platform setup.  I loved blogging and having folks eager to see what I wrote and comment to let me know what they thought.  I loved the continuous dialogue of the MySpace blogging platform.

Last year, my friend Danielle Rose (the creator of the MindKey community,) who I had met and befriended on MySpace, approached me about becoming a member of Mind Key, her growing community of dedicated practitioners of personal health and well-being.  People following their  

passion.

www.mindkey.me

At first, I was stymied at how I could contribute.  I’m just a blogger, and at that point I wasn’t even blogging because the platforms available didn’t have the exposure I had come to expect.  OK, so I’m a bit more than a blogger.  I’m a wife, a mother, a full time office and accounting manager, an editor and the treasurer for several community programs.  I was already living a full life as it was!  How could I find time to actively contribute to something so near and dear to my friend’s heart?  

I didn’t want to let her down, though, so I agreed.  I had no idea what to expect.

The Mind Key Project, An Anthology (Cover)

How incredibly I’ve grown through this wonderful process!  Through Mind Key, I’ve begun blogging again at www.charladury.com.  Having the Mind Key Community as support, I’ve gained people who are interested in what I have to say.  I’ve been lucky enough to be part of the MindKey Anthology as both an editor and contributing member.  I’ve also been honored to be one of the first readers of Danielle Rose's Mind Key, the Novel.  Editing my way through the incredible story of Noelle Ricci and her personal growth has helped me grow as a person as well, remembering and cultivating my editorial roots.

Thanks to my membership in the Mind Key Community, I feel like a flower beginning to reopen.   Reaching up and grasping onto more of life’s experiences.