Thursday, October 6, 2016
When what you harvest isn't what you worked toward
Whether it’s working toward a new career, a new relationship, or a new goal of personal growth, sometimes when you want something and you work to make it happen, it manifests in its own time, not in yours. When it does appear, and it is time to reap what you have sown, it either: no longer fits; is not at all what you thought you wanted; doesn't feel the way you thought it should; or it never comes at all.
If it no longer fits, that is usually a moment of "yay, you!" It often means that you have evolved to another level mid-way through the manifestation process, that there were some "Ah-ha!" moments followed by an internal shift that caused a redirection of your personal ship. That's wonderful news.
The internal work that would go with this outcome is to go back inside and think about what has changed for you the six to 12 months or since you started the manifestation work. What is different about your viewpoint regarding what you wanted? Think about what changed the end goal for you. Where was that therapeutic moment, and what were the details around it? Answering these questions will often give you a solid redirection on your goals for the near future.
A woman I took care of some years ago had come to me for intestinal issues. Over years in my practice, I’ve found that dis-ease in the small intestines usually relates to feeling lost, left behind and abandoned. Since all of her friends were married and starting families, and she was the only single woman in her group, this emotional theme rang very true for her. While I treated the physical, we started to also address the emotional. She really felt it was time to find a man, settle down and be married. This was her goal, but her ideas of what she wanted in a partner were a bit nebulous; she wasn't clear on the details of what she was looking for, only that she was ready for him right now. Because she wasn't clear, she had been dating men who also weren't clear. They were sort of in the relationship, but kind of not really. One said he wanted to get married but, you know, maybe someday… As her intestinal function started improving, we also began to carefully outline what she really wanted for the long term, bearing in mind that if she wanted to marry someone, these traits had to go the distance, so to speak. She made her outline, did her homework, and was engaged within the year, happily married within a year and a half. And with great digestive function, I might add.
The next scenario is one we have all seen so often: you want something so badly, you work hard to make it happen, and then when you get there, it has a certain kind of bad-plastic-like feel to it. Perhaps on paper, it was a great achievement; perhaps society gives its full approval to this goal. (there's a red flag right there, spiritually speaking, to take a closer look at your motives....) For these situations, the teaching moment comes after the fact, at the finish line or shortly afterward. There can be a sense of sadness and almost loss that you did indeed climb your mountain but once at the top, looked around to say..."meh"...
For these instances, we need to process the fact that the goal didn't feel like it "should" have. Why is that? What is missing? Here, the "should" factor is enormous. I have often seen this situation manifest around money and loneliness, two very big subjects that society has much judgment about. I have lost count of how many lawyers I have met who work only to indulge their need to write, or leave the field entirely to become a restaurateur, or open a yoga studio. Anything not to be a lawyer anymore. For those that fall into this category, the work is about helping them to redefine their next step. There are also those that feel locked into their situations in life because they don't want to lose the corresponding status and/or lifestyle.
There is one more instance of the harvest being not what you wanted: when the harvest doesn't come at all. You really worked: you cleared, you prepared, you planted, you nurtured, you focused, you aligned. Nothing. This can be one of the more critical life lessons for garnering trust and patience, through the experience of being utterly out of control of events. Time, in this instance, is still your friend although one must come to peace with the fact that, for whatever reason, you are not meant to have what you want right now. This is the moment where you learn to exercise patience. The information will, I guarantee you, come and inspire you to give thanks for unanswered prayers.
Once mastered, once you’re able to sit in that uncomfortable silence, in a place of acceptance for the present moment, a situation has greater life lessons than the others discussed. To exist in this space is to understand a depth of poetry and finesse about the course of life that makes us more successful as human beings, more graceful, and less at the mercy of the ego’s wants constantly marching through all of our minds, at all times.
As always, I do hope that my thoughts and opinions are helpful for you, so that when you go forth and manifest, whatever the outcome, you are fully equipped to manage it successfully.