Finding Tara

       

 I was never a, “If you can’t see it, it isn’t there,” kind of person, but I wasn’t a dandelions-in-my-hair, tie-dyed spirit guide either. As previously mentioned in other blogs, I became jaded in regard to anything metaphysical after my husband of seven years dumped me for a fantasy - a pretty, blonde self-proclaimed medium who sold crystal skulls, bought married men element pendants, and met them for lunches at quaint New England bistros.

Granted, no resemblance, still one of my girls 

After my divorce, I worked my ass off and rarely slept in order to regain my independence. In two years I became self-sufficient, living in my own apartment, working two successful teaching jobs, and maintaining a healthy relationship. Still, something was amiss. Confidence, peace of mind, and healing were things that eluded me thanks to years of feeling inadequate and expandable. Then during my divorce party in the Spring of 2013, I reunited with a grad school classmate, and things wistfully started to change. 

Upon my request via random and desperate text, Mind Key creator Danielle Rose introduced me to Brian Froud’s Faeries’ Oracle among other resources on faerie, goddesses, crystals, herbs, moon cycles, yoga, etc. To this day I remember sitting in her home office, filling a canvas bag with almost every book she owned. I was hooked. 

Everything I read or researched made sense to me. At this point, I am not ashamed to say that I never received the same enlightenment from church. My parents, who are very born-again Christian, tried to steer me towards the Baptist church. Despite disapproval from the ones who put me on this Earth, I took a different road, and I have been on the down-low ever since, at least with my family. Nevertheless, I continue my journey. When I think I couldn’t be anymore moved by this spirituality, something else leaves me breathless. 

I found a little metaphysical shoppe called Soul Journey while taking a different route home from work one day. It was there I discovered Laurie Sue Brockway’s The Goddess Pages, Patricia Monaghan’s The Goddess Path, the many works of Doreen Virtue, and so many other writers, poets, artists, healers, and spirits whose words continue to resonate with me - a secure but wavering being who needs to believe there is something more to existence than what I can see or touch.  

Brockway's wonderful book 

Then I discovered Tara - the Hindu goddess of protection and compassion - and in doing so, I continued building a stronger connection to self. Sure, I was ecstatic to learn there was a strong, feminine deity with my name. But more importantly, Tara became a companion and symbol for my continuous soul journey - a journey that will hopefully lead me to the key to understanding my own mind, where my mind needs to be, and how my mind needs to protect my body. 

According to Laurie Sue Brockway,“Om Tare tu Tare ture soha…essentially translates to: “Hail Tara…Her enlightenment and compassion protects me and liberates me from external fears and internal delusion…May I honor this in myself!” 

And that, in essence, is Mind Key - finding that key that unlocks your mind to your truth. Follow the Green Tara Chronicles to learn more about this tumbled-rock covered road to self.  

Motherhood: The ultimate relationship-with-self

    Motherhood changed me.

Danielle Rose as a brand new mother of two

That's kind of funny to say, isn't it?  I mean, doesn't it go without saying?  Where there was once one, now there are two… two bodies sharing a body, two schedules to navigate, and two egos competing for space (and despite what anyone says, babies' egos are huge!).

Then there came two… two children that is.  And no one tells you that having two kids isn't twice the work of having one—it's ten times the work.  Because with one blissful baby it's impossible to see how the intersection of bodies, schedules, and egos multiply exponentially.

Ultimately, what happened was that I lost myself in the wild tangle of everything childhood.  Motherhood became an all-encompassing title that didn't define me in the least.  It was something I was, something I was engrossed in, something that dictated for me what I did, how I felt, and when it all happened, but there was very little of "me" in it.  Or at least that's how it seemed.

I want to tell you that I loved every moment of it.  That I wouldn't give it up for anything. That now that my kids are (slightly) older (4 & 6 to be exact), it all makes sense.  But I would be lying.  That's not to say I don't love my kids.  Because I do, and I wouldn't give them up for the world. But sometimes I wish there was a way to have them, and all the good memories, without having a good 3/4 of the past six years as well.

I thought you were talking about relationship-with-self, you ask.

Well, I am. For the past half decade I've found it nearly impossible to evaluate my relationship with myself—even though I invested more brain and heart power into trying to figure that out than I had in the thirty years prior. 

It's given me quite a perspective on the importance of making myself the most important person in my life.  I've written quite a bit on this.  I had always been adventurous, and always sought out activity. When I was a mother of one, I brought my oldest with me on these adventures.  She was small enough not to complain, and easy-going enough to let us lead the way.  She was the most important thing in my life, and I knew that if I wanted her to live and lead an adventurous life, I had to show her how to do that.  (Read more about this and our adventures together here).

Then I had my youngest and, for the reasons listed at the start of this post, my options for adventure became severely limited.  My girls were both the most important thing in my life, but rather than trying to teach them how to live an independent, self-sufficient, and adventurous, I plummeted into survival mode.  Everything I had went to them, and there wasn't much time for sleep, proper meals, or even regular showers. I still can't go into the bathroom without a "life-threatening" disruption ("She hit me and I'm bleeding!" "I spilled a pitcher of lemonade on your computer!" "The kitchen is on fire!"). 

I had a life-changing opportunity to travel to France and take a class with an artist whose beliefs and work had changed me many times over. This was not an opportunity to be missed… Still, I almost threw away the pamphlet for the class when I received it.  I struggled with the decision to go for many months until I had no choice but to either go or let the fantasy go.  Despite much criticism from family and others, I left my 1 year old and 3 year old with their father and stepped into the airport to the image (it's still burned in my mind) of my oldest crying from the back window of the car as they pulled away.  (Read more about how I was finally able to make that decision here).

Walking the heath in Dublin on a layover after my class in France in 2012

The trip truly did change my life.

And it made me realize….
How can I ever take care of my girls if I'm not taking care of myself?

A few years passed before I was able to implement the energetic "work" that changed me while in France.  Without that "work" I doubt that Mind Key would be what it is today, or even exist at all.  Without that work I would be a shell of a person… but today I am a richer, deeper woman because I was able to face adversity and fear, and my own self-doubt, to do something I knew I was meant to do.

Somewhere in there was a list.  I called it "The Rules."  They were written to remind me of what was important.  The girls were at the top of it … then I realized I needed to be at the top.  Why?  Because if I'm not eating well, sleeping well, If I'm not healthy, and deeply fulfilled… then how can I possibly have anything at my disposal to give them?

I am still on that path, today.  It will never end.  The choices are only getting tougher, and the consequences more intense.

Me walking the cliffs in Newport, RI, after another game-changing life decision in 2015

But if I can recall (and sometimes I actually can) the feeling I had in France—the changes it wrought in me, and how I had to overcome the fear, self-doubt, and criticism…. Then.  THEN I know I am doing ok.

I know I have to follow my gut.  I know that I have to take care of me first.  Because until I do, I'll never be able to take care of my girls.  I'll never be able to give them what they need to grow into strong women.  I'll never be the "good mom" I want to be—the one that thinks she needs to sacrifice in order to give to her children, but is finally learning to sacrifice for herself first.

Welcome to the New Mind Key

Once simply a novel, Mind Key has blossomed into The Mind Key Project - a hub of knowledge and resources, a community of practitioners and artists, and a calendar of events aligned with connecting people with each other and with their goals and dreams.

Why “Mind Key”?  The term was chosen because we each have the potential within to create the life we want.  There’s no healing, no reality, no dream that is beyond our reach… but finding the resources to bring these things to fruition can be difficult.  Especially in a world full of “nos,” “can’ts” and “impossible.”

It is my belief that nothing is impossible, if only the space is created for it to happen.  That space begins within our own bodies, our minds and our hearts.

“Mind Key” the Novel, is a fictional account of 17 year old Noelle Ricci’s journey on this path of self-discovery.  How she became aware of Spirit and of the intangible world around her, how she came to understand the overwhelming energy and emotions swirling within, and how with direction and practice she slowly used them to build the life she wanted for herself.

Today the Mind Key Project has become a community of individuals, businesses, artists and practitioners with the same intention - to help others fulfill their purpose… and that’s why Mind Key is such an eclectic forum of resources:  with the intention of bringing people together with the modalities of growth that best fits them.  

I am pleased and honored to introduce to you a growing community of artists, writers, healers, practitioners, readers and mediums who are all dedicated to discovering their personal legend and to helping you discover yours.

Please take time to visit the Mind Key Community to learn about these incredible individuals and subscribe to our Newsletter, Calendar and Blog where you will receive regular updates of new happenings, pertinent resources, and insightful information on a variety of practical, theoretical, and imaginative topics.

We would also love for you to find us on Facebook and share Mind Key with others.

If you are interested in being a part of the Mind Key Project, we are always looking for fresh ideas and energy.  Please contact me directly at danielle@mindkey.me to learn more.

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May the road rise to meet you….

Danielle Rose