Yesterday, Paola Scaduto shared an intensely personal story of loss. We wanted to follow that up with some advice we've found on grief counseling websites. The loss of a loved one, no matter the circumstance, is painful and shouldn't be dealt with alone.
Take care of yourself
This Help Guide offers the following advice for taking care of yourself:
- Look after your physical health.
- Face your feelings.
- Keep yourself busy.
- Do things you love.
- Stay focused and continue your daily life.
- Don’t let anyone tell you how to feel, and don’t tell yourself how to feel either.
- Plan ahead for grief “triggers” such as anniversaries, milestones and holidays. “If you’re sharing a holiday or lifecycle event with other relatives, talk to them ahead of time about their expectations and agree on strategies to honor the person you loved.”
- Smile and laugh!
Continue Bonding with Your Loved One
In their article “Coping with the Loss of a Loved One,” CancerCare®, a national organization dedicated to providing free, professional support services by oncology social workers and other cancer experts, writes that a sense of peace following grief does not equate to having “gotten over” the loss, or that you have forgotten about your loved one. Instead, they suggest that true healing is about feeling a continued bond as you adjust to life without them.
Get support
You may think it is best to keep things bottled up inside, or even better off to not speak on the situation. Talk to someone, and express what is on your mind. When you are unable to find the proper help required to heal from whom you know, join a professional group or seek professional help such as a therapist. Keep medication as your last resort.
- http://grief.com/ Video’s and books by David Kessler. An expert on grief and grieving created 55 strategies that can help one cope and heal after the loss of a loved one. “ All remembering that grief is evidence of your love”
Exercises for healing:
Stay busy by creating a list of things you like to do, and follow it! I’ve shared with you my list, now think about what you like to do, and create your own list!
My list
- Going to the gym
- Listening to music.
- Going for a drive.
- Writing.
- Going to the beach
- Hanging out
“Close your eyes and take a few slow, deep breaths. Imagine yourself in a peaceful scene or setting. Once you are relaxed, you can create a “wakeful dream” in which, for example, you recall a time spent with your loved one that was special to you. Many people practice guided imagery exercises while listening to recordings of “ambient” sounds. Ambient music is usually sounds from nature, such as waterfalls or ocean waves. Such sounds and music can add to our experience and help us relax.”
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