I am thankful for my incredibly stressful job.
I pull my hair out and rant and rave about how much work I
have and how hard it is to stay organized and how badly deadlines and waiting
for others to do things sucks. I look at
other’s salaries and salivate. I look
around my office and wonder where my head’s at.
I walk to the printer or the front area and forget why I'm going there
on the way. I stress on work when I'm home and wish I had a work laptop so that
I could get more done. I worry about
stress in my office and the changes that are happening so quickly.
But I'm thankful I have a job and work with mostly awesome
people (does anyone work with all awesome
people? If so, I want in!) I am thankful
I have a place to work and to stretch my brain.
I am thankful to feel challenged and trusted for my opinions by my
peers. I am thankful I get paid.
I am thankful I was a teen mom.
While my mom was always there to offer support and a roof
over our heads, I was on government assistance for daycare and for food for
myself and Matt. I didn’t get to go out
and party as often as my friends. I
never got to live on my own and find myself.
I was never on my own. I always
had someone whose life depended on my own.
I never had a chance to get up and go.
I never had the option to quit a job when I was unhappy. While I may have acted like it at times, I didn’t
have a time in my life when someone wasn’t learning from my actions. I didn’t have a normal college experience and
never got to live on campus. Even after
Jon and I got married, we needed Government assistance (housing) to care for
our family. Life was never easy.
But I'm thankful for Matt.
I'm thankful that he’s grown into a wonderful young man with a caring
heart. I'm thankful that he grew up with
me and learned his love of music from me and Jon. I'm thankful that he had his struggles with
authority early and is over that shit. I
am thankful that I have a wider world view that contains struggle and that I
can understand where many people are “coming from.” I'm thankful that I know how to budget for
many different situations and can help those in need. I'm thankful that we no longer struggle (too
hard) financially. I’m thankful that we
can afford our kids some of the good things in life (sad that we weren’t able
to provide as much financially for Matt) but we are able to offer support as
they all grow into capable young men.
And I'm thankful they’ll al be over 18 (and maybe even out
of the house) before I'm 50!
I am thankful for growing up with an alcoholic Step Father.
I would cry myself to sleep worried about the verbal abuse
he’d heap on my mom. I’d duck as they
threw silverware at each other. I held
my mom when she kicked him out and I pled with her not to take him back. I pulled him off my brother once and the cops
were called to our house. I smile sadly
when we drive by that particular bar at the top of the hill between my dad’s
house and my mom’s house because my step dad couldn’t even wait until we’d get
back to the house between drinks and so we’d stop there and I’d play pinball while
he’d have a beer. I remember going to
the hospital when he was in detox and watching a big orderly holding him down
while he hallucinated.
But I'm thankful that I can spot addiction. I'm thankful that, while he was an alcoholic,
I can still be sad that he’d gone and miss his horrible sense of humor and dry
chuckle. I can be sad that my brother
lost his dad and had to get married without his dad to be there or to meet any
of his kids. I'm thankful I have one
more life experience to draw from when making decisions.
I am thankful for my whack job in-laws.
I won’t rant about anything specific here.
But I'm thankful that I’ve known them more than half my
life. I love that they love me and
appreciate the parts of me that I bring to the family table. I love that they’ve accepted me and all my
faults and been there for me, giving me a hand up during difficult times.
Anyway, I'm thankful for my life. Every crappy, difficult, challenging, sad,
stupid moment of it.
Stay tuned to the Mind Key blogspace to read about Thankfulness this week!
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