How mental illnes affects family dynamics

By Tamara Rokicki

Living with a loved one suffering with a mental illness can take a lot of understanding and support, working together to find a healthy way to cope.

Gretchen Mullin, a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Certified Addictions Professional in Tampa Bay, Florida, knows the biggest challenge for families is to understand the specific condition afflicting their loved one.

“Mental illness impacts behaviors and thinking patterns,” Gretchen says.  When observable behavior or cognitive changes occur as a result of a mental illness, it can be confusing, alarming, and even scary for the entire family.”

In her own practice, Gretchen sees how important it is for patients to receive an accurate diagnosis from a qualified professional.  This, in conjunction with psychoeducation, which offers training to patients and their families, can help ease the struggle of dealing with a mental illness as a family.  
 

Another challenge faced by families is readjusting expectations.  This is especially true for parents of children dealing with a mental illness.  The American Psychological Association says that regulating hopes and expectations for the future is part of the process, and that it is normal for relatives to experience grief and confusion.

 

For example, families dealing with a mental illness find it easy to become frustrated with the afflicted person.  When a loved one is dealing with depression, for example, it may be easy to say “just pull yourself together and get moving.”  Gretchen finds this to be one of the most common mistakes made in families dealing with a mental illness diagnosis.

 

“The best way to rectify this is [to receive an] appropriate diagnosis and subsequent treatment for all parties,” Gretchen said.  “Psychotherapy and appropriate support groups for both family members and the diagnosed individual are pertinent in total recovery.  Equally important is that the family learns appropriate communication skills to discuss symptoms and symptoms management.”

While treating patients and their families, Gretchen tends to run into a common issue: Relatives often do not understand that a mental illness is a medical condition, no different than heart disease or diabetes.  The brain not functioning properly, she explains, causes mental illnesses.  Like any other health condition, the majority of mental health conditions are very treatable, but aren’t something the afflicted person can just ‘shake off’.

 

She says, “People diagnosed with a mental illness can live a fulfilling and meaningful life once treatment is sought.”

 

Although living with a mental illness is challenging, there are many resources to help families thrive.

 

Triscia Hennessy is a member of the  National Alliance for Mental Illness (NAMI) and a Family to Family NAMI educator.  She’s also the mother of a daughter suffering from borderline personality disorder, anxiety, and depression.  Her personal experience with mental illnesses stresses the importance of seeking help.

 

NAMI is the nation’s largest mental health organization dedicated to building better lives for the millions of Americans affected by mental illness.  As a NAMI educator, Triscia believes family members may become depressed, detached, or even aggressive when coping with an afflicted loved one.
 

She says, “I can’t stress enough the need for what NAMI calls ‘self-care’, to help families get through life with a mental illness in the family.”
 

Family members must take care of themselves during this process.  It is common for them to experience anxiety, a need for reassurance, fatigue and exhaustion.  On their website, NAMI suggests that caregivers pay attention to their own physical and emotional health.  Understanding how stress affects families dealing with a mental illness is key in maintaining optimal health.  
 

Common physical signs of stress include headaches, low energy, insomnia, and upset stomach.

A mental illness diagnosis can be frightening and confusing for everyone, but there is support and resources that help families cope and thrive.  

If your loved one has been diagnosed with a mental illness, please seek support from your healthcare practitioner or any of the following resources.

• NAMI (National Alliance for Mental Illness)- http://www.nami.org

• Alcoholics Anonymous- http://www.aa.org

• Al-Anon- http://www.al-anon.alateen.org

• NEDA (National Eating Disorder)- http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org

• CHADD (The National Resource on ADHD)- http://chadd.org

Thriving in a Blended Family

There are different kinds of family units.  Single parent, the Traditional family, and now the Blended family, a recurring situation where couples merge and raise a family where biological and un-biological children come together.  Writer and Mind Key member Tamara Rokicki, shares her blended family journey through her personal blog.  

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Blended Family: ‘a family consisting of a couple and their children from this and all previous relationships’.

I often get asked how I manage to survive—and thrive—in a blended environment. Many people expect this arrangement to be frustrating, something that either works or completely falls apart. I’ve met parents who automatically assumed there is a ‘resentment’ component among our children—biological, adopted, or step. The latest question has been, “Is it hard to be in a blended family opposed to being a ‘normal’ family?” I thought about it for a long moment. I never really thought that my family unit, despite the mechanics of biology, wouldn’t be considered normal. To answer this question, I had to pose a few more:

Do ‘normal’ families ever encounter frustrations?

Does sibling dynamic differ from family to family—even child to child?

Does a family, regardless of the members who make it up, always find the right balance?

As a stepparent and biological mother, I can easily answer all of those questions in the same exact manner.  The truth is my family life is not primarily guided by the logistics of who is biologically related to who. It is guided by very specific rules and attitudes that shape our blended family into a ‘normal’ family.

With so many re-marriages and new relationships, the merging of biological and stepchildren is becoming a dominant trend. Still, it is a sensitive development that can either make or break a relationship.

I decided to write this blog and share my own blended family journey to provide answers to friends who seek advice on their newly blended family, as well as those curious to understand the dynamics of a blended environment.

It’s all about balance.

Balance is the key in achieving a successful and peaceful blended environment. It helps put things in perspective and not lose sight of the ultimate goal (to have a happy and confident family rooted in love, understanding, and compromise.) Balance in a blended family is knowing how to run a functional household without losing sight of the important things. One perfect example is picking your battles. [READ MORE]

Holiday Season Stress? Yes, You've Got in Under Control

This month Mind Key will be sharing stories and tips for living in the moment with ease and brilliance this holiday. Inspirational author and motivational speaker, Azuka Zuke, provides encouragement and insights on how we can remain positive and present with our loved ones and the beauty of peace during even the most stressful moments this holiday.

author Azuka Zuke

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                   It’s holiday season again.  A time when we get into the frenzy of celebrations. From holiday songs to decoration adorned houses lining streets of holiday shoppers. For some people, this is an exciting time. But for others, this can also be a tough time of year. We all want peace, beauty, mindfulness, happiness, strength and joy, but oftentimes we find ourselves overwhelmed with to-do lists that are too long, school stress, financial stress, job stress,  family matters and even illness as the weather changes.

Do you find yourself in any of these challenges? Are you overwhelmed with the pressures of  the holiday season? Are you running late in meeting the demands of shopping for all your family members? Are you stressed financially at this time of year? If you are in this category, I can assure you now that there is a better way to make the situation stress free. As a published author and motivational speaker, I have some advice for you to give you hope to be able to navigate the stresses of the holiday season and even beyond.

1.     Develop a positive attitude and apply it to any situation in which you find yourself. Understand that holidays will come and go and more will come, so do not beat yourself down if you do not achieve all you intended. You don’t have to do everything in one day.   No matter how late you are running on schedule, stay positive for it is the best attitude. 

2.     Delegate some duties to trusted relatives so you can have some breathing space and rest.  Delegating authority is very important. Oftentimes we want to do it all. In our desire to do the will of God, we may take on too many responsibilities. In as much as it is done with a clear intention for positive results, we end up overwhelming ourselves. The key is this- be positively minded, be a positive leader, exhibit all the positive energy, but delegate responsibilities. Moses spent every day listening to complaints from his loved people until he was told to slow down lest he wear himself out. He was advised to appoint capable people to help carry the load. In essence he was advised to appoint leaders from the positively minded people that surrounded him. That way they could all lead together to achieve more results and never be overwhelmed. In other words, we should learn to delegate and release burdens sometimes.  That way we can achieve more.

3.     Surrounding yourself with positive and happy people who will always discuss how great the holiday season is going, no matter what . Avoid negativity and self-criticisms.  That is the first step to thinking positively. Change your thoughts to positives and you are on the road to creating a great holiday season.

4.     Finally, play good music that keeps your body and soul together, laugh more, and meditate every morning and last thing at night before bed to relax yourself. Remember no matter how stressful things may be, no matter how busy you are, rest is still very important and a vital part of a healthy lifestyle.

Stay the course, stay strong and enjoy the season, but stay positive. You’ll be fine.

-       Azuka Zuke, Motivational Speaker/ Author. A disciple of the movement  for change and gratitude.   

Azuka is the author of inspirational books and loves speaking in schools.  His books will be available for sale this week in the Mind Key store.

Discover Azuka:

www.AzukaZuke.com      azukazuke@gmail.com 

How do you glisten? Artwork by Heather Taylor for "Yin and Yang"

Today, Mind Key writers, Tamara Rokicki and Danielle Rose, share their thoughts on anthology contributor Heather Taylor and her photography which is included in Yin and Yang: The Duality of Balance, available for preorder today.

Heather Taylor is a mom first, but she refuses to let motherhood define her solely, and is continually creating, whether photography, art, crafts or food. 

Glisten Dichotomically by Heather Taylor

Tamara writes that in Heather's anthology photo, Glisten Dichotomically, shown here, Heather brings us an ethereal concept wrapped in raw natural beauty. 

"The spirit of the earth reaches out from the picture and allows us to connect with foliage, landscape and wildlife," Tamara said.  "I can hear the footsteps reverberating off the wooden planks of the trail, the cool air caressing my face as I take in the smell of sage and earth."

Tamara appreciates the yellow selection of the leaves, as she writes that yellow expresses energy, joy and happiness, and stresses the importance of positive vigor and contentment even throughout the coldest phases of our lives. Tamara is particularly struck by this message as we revel through autumn to prepare ourselves mentally and spiritually for winter by taking courage and inspiration from Mother Nature. 

This photo is also her son's graduation portrait, and it reflects Heather's passion for her family, who have inspire her to show the world the amazing gifts a family can bring and the legacy it can leave.

Heather's spirituality is essential to her as a person and allows her to see the world with a wide angle perspective. 

"I hope through photography to remind people to always look at life and the people you love with a different perspective sometimes," Heather said.

Glisten Dichotomically shows us beauty in all phases of life, and as Tamara writes, "that beauty around us is at its peak only when everything has a season.  It  is a reminder that the world follows the fecund cycle of life, blossoming and fading—a rebirth of the senses, passion, and life.

"Glisten Dichotomically highlights Mind Key’s focus to connect with nature and ourselves on a deeper level."

To view Heather's art and the work of other inspired artists and writers, visit www.mindkey.me/anthology today and help us fund this project with great discounts before its too late.

Check out more from the interior of "Yin and Yang" by clicking the image to the left, and our other reviews:

Kevin Hall's Using Light by Night