November in a Nutshell

By Carlie Currier

In honor of Mind Key’s third anthology, Tempest: Life Upturned, the theme of November focused on riding out the storms of our lives that can brew during this season. Although this time of year is often seen as a preparation for the happiness of holidays, it can often bring about stress and turbulence. However, sometimes a sense of misdirection can lead us to learning more about ourselves and can be an opportunity for growth.

The first theme of this month was mental health awareness. In Tamara’s article, “Art Therapy to Treat Mental Illness” art therapy is used as a creative outlet to cope with mental illness and stress. In addition, her article “How Mental Illness Affects Family Dynamics,” discusses the impact of mental illness on the rest of the family, as well as how affected family members can be supportive of both their suffering loved ones and themselves.
In “Spiritual Storm: When You Don’t Feel Connected Anymore,” Tamara explains how during difficult times we can often lose touch with our spirituality along with ways to feel more connected.

Another article by Barbara, “Our Challenges: The worst or best thing to happen to us?” shows how we can feel less like victims during stormy times by controlling how we react to circumstances and how to look at challenges in different perspectives.

Not only can mental illness affect us emotionally and spiritually, it can also affect our bodies. In “The Painful Body” by Vera, we learn that physical pain can actually alter the circuitry of our brains. Because of this, chronic pain sufferers are at a greater risk of mental health problems.

Another topic that can often be interrelated to mental health is addiction. During addiction week, Ojanae writes about how we can practice non-judgment when supporting a loved one struggling with addiction in “Fighting Addiction.” Lisa addresses the mind-body connection of the thyroid to addictive behavior through a description of the organ’s physiological and metaphysical functions in “Thyroid and Addiction.” Lastly, Kyla writes about the benefits of yoga for recovery from eating disorders and various other addictions in “Kundalini Yoga for Addiction”.

During Family and Kids week, “The Stressed Out Teen,” by Rebecca addresses different stressors faced by adolescents, including social standing and pressure to succeed. In, “Losing someone you love,” Paola discusses techniques to cope with grief.

Also be sure to check out “NaNoWriMo”, the concept of writing a novel in 30 days in the midst of stressful circumstances. “Help For Mind Key”, is a call to action to join our community. Other themed articles include updates on our newest anthology and tools for writers.

Tempests can come in many forms. Mental illness, addiction, grief over loss, and troubled relationships are all struggles we face as humans. November’s articles are focused on how we can use these challenges as learning lessons. May they serve as a beacon of light in the heart of the storm.

Advice for healing after the loss of a loved one

Yesterday, Paola Scaduto shared an intensely personal story of loss.  We wanted to follow that up with some advice we've found on grief counseling websites.  The loss of a loved one, no matter the circumstance, is painful and shouldn't be dealt with alone.

 

Take care of yourself

This Help Guide offers the following advice for taking care of yourself:

• Look after your physical health.
• Face your feelings.
• Keep yourself busy.
• Do things you love.
• Stay focused and continue your daily life.
• Don’t let anyone tell you how to feel, and don’t tell yourself how to feel either.
• Plan ahead for grief “triggers” such as anniversaries, milestones and holidays. “If you’re sharing a holiday or lifecycle event with other relatives, talk to them ahead of time about their expectations and agree on strategies to honor the person you loved.”
• Smile and laugh!

Continue Bonding with Your Loved One

In their article “Coping with the Loss of a Loved One,” CancerCare®, a national organization dedicated to providing free, professional support services by oncology social workers and other cancer experts, writes that a sense of peace following grief does not equate to having “gotten over” the loss, or that you have forgotten about your loved one.  Instead, they suggest that true healing is about feeling a continued bond as you adjust to life without them.

 

Get support

You may think it is best to keep things bottled up inside, or even better off to not speak on the situation.  Talk to someone, and express what is on your mind.  When you are unable to find the proper help required to heal from whom you know, join a professional group or seek professional help such as a therapist. Keep medication as your last resort.

• http://www.helpguide.org/articles/emotional-health/finding-a-therapist-who-can-help-you-heal.htm
• http://www.griefnet.org/
• http://grief.com/ Video’s and books by David Kessler. An expert on grief and grieving created 55 strategies that can help one cope and heal after the loss of a loved one. “ All remembering that grief is evidence of your love”

Exercises for healing:

Stay busy by creating a list of things you like to do, and follow it! I’ve shared with you my list, now think about what you like to do, and create your own list!

My list

• Going to the gym
• Listening to music.
• Going for a drive.
• Writing.
• Going to the beach
• Hanging out

Cancer Care also suggests  guided imagery for stress reduction.

 

“Close your eyes and take a few slow, deep breaths.  Imagine yourself in a peaceful scene or setting.  Once you are relaxed, you can create a “wakeful dream” in which, for example, you recall a time spent with your loved one that was special to you. Many people practice guided imagery exercises while listening to recordings of “ambient” sounds. Ambient music is usually sounds from nature, such as waterfalls or ocean waves. Such sounds and music can add to our experience and help us relax.”

The loss of a loved one

By Paola Scaduto

Image by Kely Luzio-Cardona

Many have gone through a phase where the world seems upside down, the pain making it impossible to function in daily life.  Losing someone you love; whether a parent, grandparent, friend, family member, or other half, is a tragedy.

Whether a sudden death, or whether you have had time to prepare yourself; the pain hurts. Sometimes dealing with loss and grief can result in feeling guilt, or a state of depression.   

In their article, “Coping with Loss: Bereavement and Grief,” Mental Health America writes, “The death of a loved one is always difficult. Your reactions are influenced by the circumstances of a death, particularly when it is sudden or accidental. Your reactions are also influenced by your relationship with the person who died.”

Swiss-American Psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler describes the 5 stages of Grief which depict a series of emotions one may feel and go through  after the loss of a loved one.

1) Denial: “This can’t be happening to me.”

2) Anger: “Why is this happening? Who is to blame?”

3) Bargaining: “Make this not happen, and in return I will ____.”

4) Depression: “I’m too sad to do anything.”

5) Acceptance: “I’m at peace with what happened.”

“The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to.” ― Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

Pain is not something you get over, through time you learn to cope with the pain. Sometimes in the saddest, or tragic situations, lessons and a beautiful outcome occurs. It will always hurt, but life goes on no matter what you may be going through. You learn a lot about yourself, and those around you in times of sadness and frustration.

“Remember: It takes time to fully absorb the impact of a major loss. You never stop missing your loved one, but the pain eases after time and allows you to go on with your life You cannot avoid grieving forever. Someday those feelings will need to be resolved or they may cause physical or emotional illness.”--Mental Health America

Everyone grieves differently. Melinda Smith and Dr. Jeanne Segal write for Help Guide International, that healing from grief happens gradually over time--whether months or years.

“Whatever your grief experience, it’s important to be patient with yourself and allow the process to naturally unfold,” they write.

 

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I went through an experience that changed my life forever, feeling that I would never be able to go on without faking a smile. I hope that through sharing my thoughts, emotions, experiences and lessons I can help you cope with a loss of a loved one as well.

In the month of June 2015 I found my Grandmother unconscious, due to a stroke. The day of her stroke we were told she would not make it, and after 4 long crazy months, God took her beautiful soul.  I lived with her ever since I was a little girl, and anytime something would occur to her, I would always be the one to find her. What If I went down stairs a little beforehand and had been able to save her? That is a thought that goes through my mind every second of every single day.  We never left her alone in the hospital. When I would sleep with her, I would never let go of her hand. I prayed and begged to God that she would wake up and remember who I was. I promised to never fight with her anymore, and to do everything she asked.  I thought about how many things I have taken for granted with her, and how many little things I wished I could have said, and UN-say.

Those months left us scared, each in our own way. My grandma created a beautiful big Italian family, and taught us all the meaning of love, family, bond, and strength. She was our queen. Her loss hit every single one of us.  Everyone was fragile, and I learned that everyone deals with loss in his/her own way.  I went through a state where I did not go out, nor want to speak to anyone. I did not want to do anything anymore.  In the craziness of it all, I tried to find some good in what happened.

Three family members became pregnant, resulting in two handsome boys and one beautiful girl. Although there were many who were not there for me, I learned who my true friends were.

I learned to appreciate time, moments and life. Nothing lasts forever; therefore I try to cherish and appreciate every single moment, and try my best to avoid arguments.

What I experienced made me realize that I took many things for granted without even realizing. If you love someone, make sure you tell them, and remind them how much they mean to you, because you never know when the last conversation with them may be. Even if I felt hurt and upset, missing work or sleeping all day would not bring them back. It was so hard to cope with life, and dealing with such pain, but time continued, and life did not stop. I had to learn to control my emotions and not let it affect my daily life, because I know she would be disappointed.

Now she will be with every single one of us, protecting us.  We may not see her, but she is watching us, and living every moment with us. During times of sadness and happiness, I pray to her. I talk to her anytime that I need to, because I know that she will guide and protect me. I gained a Guardian Angel for life. Our memories, and precious moments will never be forgotten.

As of now, October 2016, I have gone through the loss of two grandmothers. On October 23, 2015, 8 days before my 21st birthday: I lost my grandmother Maria. A day I waited forever for (turning 21), and a day I dreaded my whole life  (losing my grandmother) hit me both in the same week. As of October 9, 2016 I have lost my other grandmother. I have lost both of my grandmothers in the same month, near my birthday, which will make it difficult during that time, but I know that I now have two beautiful angels.  

"From infancy to death human life is surrounded by their (the angels) watchful care and intercession. Beside each believer stands an angel as protector and shepherd leading him to life. Already here on earth the Christian life shares by faith in the blessed company of angels and men united to God." - From the Catechism of the Catholic Church; 336.

Click here for some advice for healing through the loss of a loved one.

 

 

Video - How to talk yourself down from a panic attack

As a certified yoga instructor and mental health advocate, Malia Bradshaw understands the struggles of coping with a mental illness.

Diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder, Malia has found support and healing through the power of yoga.  She dedicates her life to supporting others who also live with anxiety.

In her latest video How to Talk Yourself Down From a Panic Attack, Malia shares self-talk strategies used to regain control during an anxiety attack.  Many can resonate with her own tendency to get caught in the loop of her own worries. Yoga, mindfulness, and breathing techniques help her come back to the present moment.

The stressed out teen - tips for destressing your high school student

By Rebecca Pall



Photo courtesy of NBC



Chances are, if one were to ask a high schooler how they were feeling, the number one answer would be that dreaded, eight letter word: stressed.  With stress comes anxiety and nervousness as well.  In today’s day and age, school and social issues aren't the only things that can add to the stress load of students.  

 

One of the things that can lead to stress for high school teenagers is, on the non-academic side, social standing.  At the age of 14-19, children feel that they have to be superior by fitting into a crowd.  If they don’t do what a certain group of people are doing, then they could be seen as unfit, or unqualified to be with a certain group of people.  

According to a study conducted by Johns Hopkins University, one of the biggest social stressors is trying to perform or behave beyond their ability.  This could be in terms of social or academic standing.  If a student is trying to fit into a group of new peers, they may do things that they would not normally feel comfortable doing, just so that they can fit in.  The more that a student thinks that they’re not good enough, the more they could feel like they have to try and be someone different or to do something uncomfortable.  

In an academic setting, students may feel like they have to perform at the top of their classes.  The College Board did a study that concluded that between the years of 2003 and 2013, there was a 7.9 increase of students taking honors and AP classes.  Nowadays, students think that they have to perform at a certain level of excellence, especially in these types of classes, just to be normal. 

Whether that’s getting up and doing oral reports if a student is shy or striving to perform the best in a certain class, the student today has a lot on their plate, socially and academically.

Photo courtesy of Adventure Family in Motion

A student completed a study of the students and faculty in Saddle River Day School in Saddle River, New Jersey.  A Google Form was sent out to about 175 students and 50 teachers, asking them what was their biggest stress in high school.  I got responses from 60 students and nine members of the faculty.

Student stresses were listed as:

• Homework
• Tests
• Time management
• College Applications
• Getting the grades needed to apply to a good college
• Expectations
• Studying

This was surprising, since the social aspects of stress were not stated, and the main focus was the stress of academics, even though social stress is still prevalent.

As far as faculty goes, there was a smaller range of answers.  The most popular answers were:

• Time management
• Fitting in
• “Getting a date”
• Being accepted
• Getting into college

The question was then asked whether or not the faculty members felt that the stress that they feel now was the same as the stress they had felt when they were in high school.  An overwhelming “YES!” was collected.  

One of the reasons given was, “I think students now have these same issues as we did; however, I think they have more distractions today than when I was in high school. Computers and devices were not as common and we did not have to deal with those as a way to distract us from our learning. I also think that more research and time has been invested in teaching students how to study and giving them the scaffolding/tools to help them learn their best.  I think that is different then when I was in high school.”  

 

De-stressing

 

Despite the stresses they suffer, many students don’t realize the benefits of destressing.  One of the leading ways for anyone to destress is to put down technology.  This can be doubly so for students.  According to a Pew study conducted in 2015, nearly 75% of high school students in the United States have access to a smartphone. 24% were found to go online “almost constantly” and another 56% are online several times a day.  With the technology of smartphones comes the technology of social media.  While social media is a great way to stay in the loop of what their peers are doing, it also poses as a way for teenagers to feel excluded.  They can see something for which they didn’t get an invite.  Since they know they didn’t get invited, there’s a possibility that they would do anything that they could to try and be “cool enough” to get invited to the party.  The more one doesn’t check social media, the less they have the pressure to live up to others’ standards.

Another great way to destress is to focus on creating a change in mindset, turning “I can’t’ to “I can.” In a recent study conducted at the University of Texas at Austin and the University of Rochester, psychologists wanted to see if a small shift in mindset could reduce teenagers’ social stress. They found that with a simple, half-hour training, they could help teens cope better, keep their bodies calmer and even do better in school.  The other half of the students that participated in the control group also learned a growth mindset, but applied it to the physical environment in high school, not the social one.  They took their mindset to achieve their own version of greatness in academics.

Stress can be a tough thing to deal with, especially with teenagers in the technology-laden modern world.  Teenagers need to be reminded that there’s more to life than the latest party. Also, the fact that competing with others for academic (or social) greatness will not make or break you is important to remember. Tools and remedies need to be available that can help them when they can’t control their stress. With these supports, teenagers can learn to be calmer and happier individuals.

Kundalini Yoga for addiction

Building self love and confidence takes extreme inner strength--a strength essential for navigating the tempest of life. Kundalini Yoga is both a mental and physical practice that is beneficial for bodies and for life. It isn’t all about the exercise. Kundalini Yoga helps one create a happy, healthy, holy life and is a great fit for both men and women of all ages. Read on to learn how Kundalini Yoga became the driving force in Long Time Sun Apparel owner, Kyla Rose Maher’s recovery from addiction.

This article was originally posted on the Kundalini Yoga Boston Blog

Photo courtesy of Kyla Rose at Kundalini Yoga

There once was a 16 year old girl who desperately wanted to be noticed.  She wanted nothing more than to fit in, be popular, and ultimately feel loved.  

She started a diet to be “more healthy” and started running to get “in shape”.  She lost a few pounds and people noticed.  She soon began to feel a “high” every time she saw the number go down on the scale.  It gave her a sense of accomplishment.  She started to feel attractive.

Food and losing weight quickly became all she thought about during the day.  It consumed all of her thoughts and dictated every decision. She ended up losing 40 lbs off her very normal sized frame that summer.  Her fixation with food became her best friend.  It was what she turned to to cope with life on a day-to-day basis.   

From there came obsession, isolation, depression, anxiety, and eventually hopelessness. Her eating disorder had completely taken over her life by the time she hit college, and she would continue to struggle with anorexia and bulimia nervosa into her mid 20s.   

As you most likely have sensed, that 16 year old girl was me. After living in a world of comparisons, judgments, and competitions, the simple act of closing my eyes during the yoga was an immensely profound and healing experience for me.  Kundalini Yoga was the driving force behind my recovery. The practice allowed me to process a lot of issues I’d never faced and many emotions I’d never allowed myself to feel…. [continue reading...]

The role the thyroid plays with addiction

There are two ways that thyroid function is indicated in the subject of addiction: one is physical and the other is metaphysical.

 

The physical correlation between the thyroid function and addiction is through the thyroid's role in handling blood sugar. If the body has any issue successfully maintaining blood sugar levels, rest assured there is a thyroid issue as well. I have seen through the years that controlling blood sugar behavior in the body is the key to successfully treating many situations previously understood as untreatable without prescription medication.  These include diagnoses like obsessive compulsive disorder and attention deficit disorder.

Photo courtesy of Thyroid Nation

 

Treatment for the physical thyroid is not something easily outlined. One needs to first diagnose if the thyroid itself as fast, slow, allergic, or even if it is tired and needs food in the form of targeted nutrition. If there is no issue with the thyroid itself as a gland, there may be an issue with conversion of the thyroid hormones into its usable form, which happens mostly in the intestines.

 

When the intestines are overwhelmed by virus, bacteria, mold, fungus, candida, etc.,  this interferes with the production and maintenance of the healthy digestive flora. What follows is interference with the body’s absorption of nutrients, and use of the thyroid hormones, which then interferes with blood sugar handling in the body. This is where we can most easily see the link between thyroid function (or thyroid hormone function) and the steadiness (or unsteadiness) of blood sugar patterns in the body. This information is sourced in a bit more complicated terms in our gold standard for physiology, a medical textbook called Textbook of Medical Physiology, 11th edition, Guyton and Hall, in the chapter on thyroid function.

 

Photo courtesy of Thyroid Nation

When nutrient absorption doesn't take place at the needed rate and blood sugar is low, there is a tendency toward impulsive behavior and depression, both of which are underlying contributors to addictive behavior. Because the blood sugar stays unstable, the thyroid is most often compromised in that dance.  Impulsive action, while caused by the imbalance, either does not adequately raise blood sugar (shopping, sex, television, internet, etc.), or it raises blood sugar too much (as with binge eating, and alcohol use). It can also cause a reaction in the physical and energetic systems, simulating a blood sugar high (i.e.: the dissociation typical in the high from drug use). In these cases, modulating thyroid function, coupled with dietary changes to keep blood sugar steady and predictable, are the most effective ways to make significant changes in addictive behavior.

 

Additional treatment will settle around other issues that the individual tries to handle by escaping, but in my practice, I have found that if optimal thyroid function and blood sugar stability are addressed, then the biological roots of addiction can be effectively managed. This has been a regular experience of mine treating alcoholics. I have so far never worked with an alcoholic who ate breakfast regularly, and often they skip other meals as well. When blood sugar is managed through diet and the thyroid is supplemented through modulators that feed the thyroid and encourage it to work efficiently, the biological craving for alcohol is cut completely or almost completely. At that point, the next step is handing the metaphysical issues of addiction.   

 

The metaphysical connection between the thyroid and addiction is the thyroid's implication in the 5th energy center, or 5th chakra. Caroline Myss said that the 5th chakra lines up the head and the heart, and that if the head wants one thing and the heart wants another, you have the 5th energy center "out,” and addiction inevitably follows. I have seen this to be true in my practice. When the 5th chakra is not up to par, or out of balance in some way, always, always always do I find that the thyroid is also "not up to par."

 

According to Under Root Healing, "The thyroid is located in the part of our body that corresponds to the throat chakra.  The throat chakra is the center of energy in the body that is about speaking and hearing your inner truth and the truths of others."

Photo courtesy of Dharma Yoga Center

Aside from the physical thyroid-boosting work, one must ask oneself, “where have I not had firm boundaries on a situation that came back to bite me? Where was there something I needed to say but didn't?  "What do you want that is sanctioned by society?” is a great question for examination, because often I find that people want things that they think they should want but that really don't make their hearts sing. For example, the 17 hour a day job with the fabulous paycheck that does not leave time to enjoy that lifestyle... This type of situation is the basis of the head/heart split.

 

When these issues are identified and resolved to the best of that person's ability, the next step is often to address the physical issue by modulating or adjusting thyroid function to be more efficient through herbs, diet, whole food supplements or other means, and that helps tremendously in the resolution of addictive issues.

 

I hope this information has been helpful. Often the issues discussed in these blog posts are very complex, and I do my best to break them down into readable and understandable essays. If ever there are questions or inquiries about anything I have written, I may be reached at info@drlisaavila.com. As always, these posts are here for information purposes, and never to treat or informally diagnose any issues you may be experiencing individually; only a trained physician can do that in a real time consultation.

 

Lots of love to you..

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Dr. Lisa Avila

 




 

Notes from the Apothecary - Bridging the disconnect